Tides of Change
Ended a paper today and was dead exhausted but i think the caffeine after effect was still kicking in. Didn't feel like opening another lecture note, tutorial or text. So i came back to my blog and started reading all my posts since 2005. Was actually thinking of deleting this blog and all the shitty stuff its been filled with recently, but when i threaded back, there are too many memories here which i would like to keep. Not all, but some. If it means keeping some of the painful and stupid things i've done, i guess i'll just have to live with it.
Funny how i'm always complaining about how people've changed, but i haven't really had the time to look at myself. Or rather, i never realised that i've changed - probably due to the fact that i never get to spend enough time with people who know me (family and close friends) and that's just not enough for them to realise that i've changed so much. But after a bit of reflection (although its probably the wrong time during the exams), i've seen a few changes in me.
Here's how i've changed (from what i gather from my previous posts anyway):
1. i don't say fuck like 50 times a day anymore. I rarely use it actually, only in the occasional burst of anger
2. i've began to learn to like living with other girls, i no longer detest their need to go down in a crowd
3. i'm becoming more whiny. me thinks its a singaporean girls thing
4. i don't enjoy life as much as i used to
5. i'm learning to accept that my life will not be as fun as it used to
6. i've become more commitment phobic
7. i'm less independent (don't like the term more dependent- sounds so pathetic)
8. i've become more clingy as a friend (the need for emotional discharge)
9. i'm stupider than i was before (generally and in exams)
10. i'm more trusting even when i know that i'd probably get bitten by the 'serpent' (plain stupidity in action)
11. i've been more wishful-thinking (there's someone for everyone.. yeah rite)
12. i'm becoming a naive young girl... shit.... i've got to stop
(whatever i'm writing in brackets here are additions after reading through what i wrote)
but, one thing hasn't changed - the fact that i hate changes. Oh... and i still Love Giggsy.. hehe
But anywayz, i don't quite like who i'm turning out to be.
So, I'd better do something about this....
Funny how i'm always complaining about how people've changed, but i haven't really had the time to look at myself. Or rather, i never realised that i've changed - probably due to the fact that i never get to spend enough time with people who know me (family and close friends) and that's just not enough for them to realise that i've changed so much. But after a bit of reflection (although its probably the wrong time during the exams), i've seen a few changes in me.
Here's how i've changed (from what i gather from my previous posts anyway):
1. i don't say fuck like 50 times a day anymore. I rarely use it actually, only in the occasional burst of anger
2. i've began to learn to like living with other girls, i no longer detest their need to go down in a crowd
3. i'm becoming more whiny. me thinks its a singaporean girls thing
4. i don't enjoy life as much as i used to
5. i'm learning to accept that my life will not be as fun as it used to
6. i've become more commitment phobic
7. i'm less independent (don't like the term more dependent- sounds so pathetic)
8. i've become more clingy as a friend (the need for emotional discharge)
9. i'm stupider than i was before (generally and in exams)
10. i'm more trusting even when i know that i'd probably get bitten by the 'serpent' (plain stupidity in action)
11. i've been more wishful-thinking (there's someone for everyone.. yeah rite)
12. i'm becoming a naive young girl... shit.... i've got to stop
(whatever i'm writing in brackets here are additions after reading through what i wrote)
but, one thing hasn't changed - the fact that i hate changes. Oh... and i still Love Giggsy.. hehe
But anywayz, i don't quite like who i'm turning out to be.
So, I'd better do something about this....
posted by Tina @ 1:14 AM
Comments: 1
