The inner me... uncensored...

The way you are, the way you work, the way you handle things, u're my idol. If only i had the guts to let you know for i truly believe that u deserve to be told that u're an inspiration to me and many others in this hall. What am i to do when u leave in a few months time? I'll lose a confider, a mentor, a motivator, but most importantly a friend whom i care deeply for. I know u're more than ready to leave but sometimes, i wish you could learn to love this place a little bit more for i can't help but hate it bit by bit when i see how it is making my friends sad. And i'll have 3 more years to go and this year, i'll be at the very center of it. In the midst of everything, without you to guide me through it. Friends come and go, that's what's its about isn't it? Somehow, i refuse to believe that. I'm not letting go that easily....

was in the midst of my tutorials when my thoughts were interrupted by issues regarding hall. As i reflect on my "achievements" or personally, just experiences i suddenly realise that KR isn't who she really is.

Kent Ridgeans (generalising here) so proudly proclaim to the rest of the world that we are true blue kent ridgeans. Have we asked ourselves, have we earned the right to say that?

Mine would be no. For the past year, hall has given me so much. From the very beginning during FWOC, she's given me so many good friends who are, today my closest confidante. She's allowed me to find my niche and realise my potentials. I had a blast in aca and choir where i learned a lot of about singing and was exposed to more acapella - in which i thought was just limited to boybands singing without instruments. There's actually much more to an acapella group or a choir pertaining to the sound they produce. I was very much interested and thankfully, i learned. All thanx to Kent Ridge Hall.

Then came a bigger scale event - production. I've always loved musicals. I remember the times when Fran, Jos and I would get our parents to send us to Istana Budaya and we would pay to watch musicals. My mum always thought it was a waste of money and wouldn't pay for me. Every single dollar was from my allowance and when the opportunity presented itself for me to be involved in one of such musicals, i immediately jumped into it. I said yes within minutes after being offered the Vocal Director's post without hesitation and i remembered how happy i was about it. I went back to my room with a beaming smile and immediately told my mum to send down my CDs of musical compilations. Come to think of it now, my naivete is impressive. Then i was brought back down to earth when i was asked to audition the cast. The standards were depressing and there wasn't really an option to pick the best. All we could do was to take those who will scrape through.

Then, i given the first song by Keith (Musical Director) and it was the Pimp's Song - a solo. Just an mp3 and a word document containing the lyrics. No score, no chords. So, i borrowed a keyboard and slowly figured out my own version of a score to play for the singer. Songs after songs came and in total i had 11 songs to teach in less than 2 months to be perfected within 3 months and i worked with 11 amazing cast members who did their best. Although i had some regrets along the way and my self-esteem plunged, at the end of the day, i didn't want it to end. The tiring rehearsals and frustration were all well worth it. From that, i learned a lot. I learned that no matter how much a person tries, there's a limit as to how good they can be. I learned that production is really a time where we showcase the hall's talent to the outsiders. Then i began to question, since production is such a good experience and fun one albeit a lot of effort, why wouldn't we want to step up to represent KR's culture esp when u know that u can sing /act /play instruments /compose /scriptwrite /canvass /direct/ produce? Why do we shun away from contributing to hall? There's so much to do, but yet there's no one to do it. Its really sad that production does not give a correct enough representation of what KR has. Would it do justice to our label where we so proudly shout at the top of our voices that we are "THE CULTURE HALL" when our production does not reflect that? And why doesn't anyone care to change that fact? Why aren't the culture heads pushing/ encouraging / motivating their members to be a part of this wonderful experience? Sure.... we can always say that i turned up for production and cheered at the top of my lungs and gave a standing ovation. We do not need lip service. The production didn't deserve a standing ovation only the set did. Why are we supporting our friends but not supporting the hall? When is it our turn to give back to hall what she has given us to be so proud of? So many questions to be answered.... if only we could think less abt gaining and focus on giving. If only.....