The inner me... uncensored...

I've always complained that i don't belong in certain groups. But, i haven't done so for close to a year since i've entered university, until today. How do you know if you clique or not?

When i first came into Kent Ridge Hall, i knew NOBODY. I came in with an open mind, sans expectations. From then on, i got to know my fellow Kent Ridgeans and slowly, we grew closer.

What got me thinking is that we really feel that we don't belong to a certain group of people once we've found a clique of our own. Take me for example. I'm in a culture group in hall and the people in my group are pretty tight. So naturally, after close to 9 months or so, we form sort of a clique. The thing with me is, once i've found people i'm comfortable with, complacency sets in. I won't bother going out to make more friends.

But now, I find myself joining rag. Joining a group of people who spoke mandarin(a language i barely understand), who are of a totally different wavelength. I know i am in unfamiliar territory and i feel as though i'm intruding. That's how i feel like i don't belong. IF i didn't have a clique, i probably would've tried to fit in the best way possible simply because i won't have the luxury of choosing. Now, i have the people i'm comfortable with, am i able to approach this new group the way i did 9 months ago?

I am afraid, but i guess, i'll just have to try. After all, i've been doing that since i came to Sg and everything turned out well. I hope.... that this will too.

The fact that i'm joining rag translates to 2 1/2 months in Sg, most likely unable to meet up with my friends whom i so dearly miss. What's wrong with me? Am i already brainwashed to become a "trueblue Kent Ridgean"?

I question my decision making sometimes. I need a life outside hall. I need to detach myself physically and emotionally, else i never will.