It has been a really busy 2006 for me. 1 week of school has ended and yet, i'm not in the correct frame of mind to start studying. Typically, I sleep at 3-4am in the morn and wake up late for my 10am lectures. Hall Production's 8pm-1am rehearsals followed by Acapella rehearsals from 1-3am is taking its toll on me. Once again, i'm torn between studying and all the other hall CCAs. It may sound as if all these CCAs are a burden. But, in fact, i'm beginning to realise that this is my excuse to not study and have fun. It is my form of escapism. I do enjoy all these things, but the fact that i've got tonnes of work to do stresses me out. Whatever happened to my old self?
My experience thus far with as Vocal Director for HP has taught me a lot about myself. I realised that i'm not at all confident about my abilities and that i need constant reassurance that i'm doing the right thing. By nature, i'm a very safe person- not liking to venture out of my comfort zone, from anything that i'm familiar with. VD is a new area i've yet to explore and everyday i learn something new. Question is, will i continue to grow or will i allow my lack of self esteem hinder my progress?
I've got to admit that it is very frustrating working with the Cast sometimes, esp when there is lack of discipline. I can't stand ppl who are late or people who come down for rehearsals unprepared. I hate wasting time. I hate ppl who waste my time. I've vent out my frustrations before and immediately regretted it. To suffer in silence is indeed better than dragging the whole cast down with u. As a teacher/leader, it is very important to keep the moral of the team high - just like how everyone pleases a diva. If she isn't happy, she can't perform well and those around her are to blame. So yes, in my case, if the cast doesn't perform, its my fault. They are rather good singers individually. I'm just crossing my fingers that they'll rise to the occasion on the night of the musical. Till the show day, i'll suffer alone.
In 2 weeks time, CNY will be here. Followed by TGIO performance in the 9th of Feb, then Hall Production's Musical entitled : Memories of a Red Autumm on the 16th and 17th. On the very next day is the annual combined halls culture performance called Amplitude. Hopefully they'll allow me to perform for Acapella and Choir. Performing is just such a high!! Then.... phew... its a short break. Oh NO! its the mid terms. Dammit. Mid March will be our acapella concert. YAY!! Can't wait. Oh....... we have auditions this sunday for a competition - Talentquest.
I need to breathe.....
posted by Tina @ 1:29 PM
Comments: 1
